Living life on your own terms
When was the last time you woke up feeling a sense of peace? If that was you today, give yourself a pat on the back. If it wasn’t, you’re capable of getting there if you’re willing to take a risk.
The core reason why we feel out of balance is simple - we aren’t the best versions of ourselves. We have that nagging feeling in the back of our mind that keeps reminding us that there’s more that we’re capable of doing. Yet, we keep burying that thought under distractions, obligations, standards, timelines etc. We’re settling more. We’ve become comfortable with taking life for what it is instead of pushing a little outside of our boundaries to discover what our heart truly wants.
And maybe this is where you will stop reading because the thought of figuring out what that nagging feeling is makes you feel uncomfortable. Hope you enjoyed the read.
For the rest of you, let’s keep going :)
Comfort zones are nice aren't they? Comfortable. Stable. Isn’t that what we all want?
Well, not all of us. Definitely not me. A question I get asked all the time is what I want people to remember me for. And my answer has always stayed consistent - a girl who followed her heart. Who lived life on her own terms. And trust me, this isn’t an easy task when you belong to a community that respects traditions and timelines like their life depends on it lol. But it's possible and I know I have a tribe who will resonate with me.
That nagging feeling you have comes from a higher source - could be God, the universe, whoever you connect with in times of trouble. It's a reminder that the reason you were uniquely created as you is much more than how your life currently is. There’s more in life that you are meant to have yet the decisions you’ve made until now were based on not wanting to step out of your comfort zone. This understanding helped me realize that I was focusing my attention to what I thought I needed based on everyone else's opinion rather than from asking myself. Just like a little child who will not stop nagging you for something they really want until they have it, that constant unsatisfied feeling will continue to be there until you address what it is you truly want for yourself. And it rather be addressed today before time flies by.
A coworker of mine, a lovely lady in her 50's shared a story with me one day about how she felt exhausted but wasn’t sure why. And as we spoke, she opened up to me about her desire to pursue pharmacology, which she discontinued because her parents weren’t in favor of her pursuing pharmacology outside of her city (in her country of origin). Now, decades later, she works at an average job that pays the bills, is married to a man who resembled many of the negative aspects that her family had and has two sons who were also struggling to find their passion due to their upbringing. Breaking out of her comfort zone may have resulted in her parents being temporarily fearful of her safety yet would’ve gave them a happy daughter who lived a life following her heart. That one decision could have changed her life completely. This applies to other aspects of her life as well - marriage included.
“No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life, chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
Good ol’ comfort zones! You may have come across a video on YouTube where an ant remains in a circle drawn with a pen because it assumes that it's stuck. When we watch this from above, we know how silly it is for an ant to stay stuck inside the circle. But the ant continues to go around in circles assuming that those boundaries are set in stone.
In our lives, the one watching from above laughing at how silly we look operating in fear is a higher source - God, the universe - again, whichever you believe in.
The blue circle are the standards/rules that we are taught in our upbringing and we subconsciously continue to follow. These standards were not created by God or a higher source. But sometimes, we are told to believe so. These standards/rules were created out of fear by society, institutions etc.
And the ant is what we’re like, living in our little bubble, fearing the unknown and what could be outside our comfort zone.
We learn the most about our potential when we are placed in uncomfortable situations that require us to take a risk. When we overcome the constant “its not realistic” "its not possible" or “it's too difficult” with “what’s the worst that could happen,” we are more likely to follow our heart and take that risk which then teaches us incredible lessons about how capable we are and what’s outside of that imaginary circle we live inside. I learnt this many years ago and continue to use it today when I'm about to do something that feels a bit risky - including starting this blog :)
I know what it feels like to stay stuck in a comfortable, safe circle but I also know how peaceful and liberating it feels to start taking steps outside of my comfort zone, without paying attention to what someone else will say about my choices This realization should come from within. If you're comfortable with living life the way it is, and let that nagging feeling inside of you stay with you forever - that choice is yours.
I'll end this with one of my favorite quotes “The best way to say, "I love you, God," is to live your life doing your best.” And your best is usually outside of your comfort zone and much more than you think you deserve at the moment.